Badass vs Dumbass
Master your Financial Kung Fu to be one and not the other.
Ronin: Sifu, you in deep thought or … are you still upset that you missed that Air Supply reunion tour. I’m sure they’ll come back.
Sifu: Wow, hating legends. Stop dissing Air Supply – not my favorite, but still, they’re fucking awesome, dude. YOU, on the other hand, should really stop crushing on your favorite, Nickelback!
Ronin: Say WHAT! Oh man, good one boss. You got me good.
Sifu: Yeah, I know. Saved that one in my back pocket, just for you, my man! Hahaha. OK enough, today we will discuss the subtle art of saving money. In Kung Fu, every small move can make a big difference. In finance, small changes lead to significant savings. Are you ready to learn?
Ronin: Sifu, does this mean I have to quit the extra-large popcorn at the movies?
Sifu: At the very minimum, #1. It’s about mindful spending. Let’s start with the basics—creating a budget. Do you have one yet?
Ronin: Well, that was homework from last time. Still working on it.
Sifu: Step on the gas already, Fast and Furious. We don’t have forever. As you recall, creating a budget is the foundation of financial discipline. Just list all your income sources and expenses on your spreadsheet or slap it into your financial app. Done in no time. You’ll quickly learn where you can cut back.
Ronin: Gotcha. Kind of like tracking calories but even more depressing.
Sifu: That may be today, But one day, when you reach the status of Financial Badass, and you’re rolling in FU Money, it is the opposite of depressing, my man – it’s the ecstasy of living large. You keeping you eyes on the prize, Killa?
Ronin: I’m so there! Sifu, you had me at FU Money. Trust me, I am 100% in, and I already have a short list of people who deserve to be told FU on a daily basis. You know, every now and then, good guys have to do bad things to make the bad guys pay.
Sifu: LOL, it’s not about that, #1. You need to move away from haters, and just get on with your life. Remember that the “best revenge is living well”. When you’re a badass, you won’t have time to get mad at losers. You’ll be too busy spending your time Living La Vida Loca! But I get it – who doesn’t love FU money? I love saying it: “FU money, FU money, FU money … Fuck You Money, Motherfucker!”
Ronin: Geez boss, I thought I was immature.
Sifu: Life is harsh, #1. Not for the weak. A whole lot of tears along the way. My philosophy is simple: I’d rather laugh than cry.
Ronin: Word, Sifu. WORD.
Sifu: Are you getting any traction yet in your new side hustle as a Rapper for Hire?
Ronin: One day, the world will recognize my artistry, you’ll see. Drake will be in my shadow, cuz, you watch.
Sifu: Uh-huh, if you say so Wordy Wrappinghood.
Ronin: What’s next boss? I need ideas to save more of my Dead Presidents.
Sifu: Yes. Next is cooking at home. How often are you eating out?
Ronin: All the time and that’s hurting my cash reserves, big time.
Sifu: Exactly. Cooking meals from scratch is healthier and WAY more economical. Meal planning helps avoid impulse eating out and saves time. Plus, you can try new delicious recipes.
Ronin: So, now I have to master the art of woking up a storm in the kitchen too?
Sifu: Yes! It’s easy once you get going. Sifu is a master chef, and I can quickly teach you the basics. Or simply visit YouTube University, and watch other master cooks show you all the short cuts to making restaurant quality dishes in no time, and save a ton of greenbacks along the way.
Ronin: Are you really telling me I can elevate my cooking from instant microwave ramen to 4 star restaurant fare?
Sifu: Well, let’s start at 2 star and work your way up, LOL. But yes, absolutely!
Ronin: Man oh man. I want to get on that project right now – my stomach is growling at the prospect of eating so well!
Sifu: I love the enthusiasm, #1. Food is life, and Good Food is definitely Living Well. Cooking at home the ultimate Win-Win. Your wallet and your stomach will appreciate this equally.
Ronin: Cool, COOL!
Sifu: Now, let’s talk about shopping smart for groceries. Always shop with a list and avoid impulse buys. Recent inflation is not helping, so this is a biggie. Look for sales, discounts, and consider generic brands. They are just as good as the expensive brands. Don’t get fooled by all the marketing and hype – cuz that’s all it is.
Ronin: Good tips, boss. Bonus when shopping for groceries is all the cuties I meet in those stores. You know your #1 is working, even when he’s not at work, right?
Sifu: No doubt, Casanova. Extra bonus: grocery stores don’t have a cover charge like the clubs.
Ronin: Ka-ching! Ring that bell, sucka!
Sifu: Also consider buying in bulk, like at Costco. It can make sense for non-perishable items, if you’re going to be buying it anyways down the road. Save at every opportunity, Padawan.
Ronin: Hey, I don’t a have Costco membership. Can I join you on your next Costco run, master?
Sifu: Of course, #1, I got you. You’re saving again by not paying for that membership – the winning is incredible, LOL. Next is saving on subscriptions. How many do you have now, Ronin?
Ronin: Maybe 7?
Sifu: Ouch! OK, time to pare that down. Keep just a couple of favorites. If you can share services with friends, do that too. Just imagine, beside the cash saved, you’ll regain tons of wasted time. Time you can devote to mastering your next dish, foodie-man. I expect you’ll feed me well when I’m over next. Surprise me.
Ronin: Sure sure. Done!
Sifu: Next, reduce energy consumption. Turn off lights when not in use, unplug devices, and use energy-efficient appliances. These simple actions lower your utility bills.
Ronin: So, living like a Ninja in the dark saves money?
Sifu: Well, even I’m not going to argue with a Ninja. Every fight avoided is a fight won 😉
Ronin: Agreed, until I get my Neo moves down, I’ll avoid those bad dudes too. Those throwing stars are painful as all hell.
Sifu: You’re wiser than you look! Next, set your thermostat wisely—cooler in winter, warmer in summer. Every little adjustment helps.
Ronin: Thanks … I think. OK, got it. I’ll adjust my thermostat as you say. Looks like I’ll be wearing my Canada Goose jacket in the house during the winter, and pare down to my Calvins during the summer. Neighbors will enjoy the view from the window 😉
Sifu: Indeed, #1. Now, transportation—do you drive everywhere?
Ronin: Yup, I’m not really a public transit type of guy. People smell, dude!
Sifu: Just move away from the piss-pants homie, idjit! It’s not rocket science. Seriously, public transit is not much of a sacrifice. If you’re not driving, view it as getting a chauffeur ride. Using public transport, carpooling, or even biking can save on fuel and maintenance. For short distances, walking is the best option—fantastic for health and your very thin wallet.
Ronin: Hey Sifu, walking will also give me more opportunities to meet cuties on the street. Way more than driving. Win-win again?
Sifu: Too damned clever, #1. All that walking will also give you time to meditate on your finances. Of course, when you’re not hitting on the honeys, Macho Man.
Ronin: Ok got it. If I can walk and chew gum at the same time, I don’t see why I couldn’t walk and think about money matters at the same time.
Sifu: Easy peasy. Now, about drinks—are you still doing your daily runs to Starbucks and Timmie Ho’s?
Ronin: Guilty as charged, bossman. Those lattes are my one true love.
Sifu: I doubt you love that more than a huge stack of Benjamins in your hand.
Ronin: WORD.
Sifu: Making coffee at home is much cheaper. Bring a reusable water bottle instead of buying drinks. Little savings add up. At today’s prices at those coffee shops, those are actually BIG savings.
Ronin: Goodbye overpriced artisanal coffee. Excuse me while I cry a bit, Sifu. That love affair was real.
Sifu: No worries, Padawan. I have a tip that will help you keep your love affair with amazing coffee alive. I’ve been doing French press coffee for years, and it’s excellent. Easy, cost-effective and delish. But recently, I discovered that the price of very high quality home espresso machines have dropped a ton. For less than a couple of Benjamins – that machine can be on your kitchen counter. You can make even BETTER tasting coffee than store bought, fresh at home every morning. We’re talking full depth of flavor with the big head of crema – hard to beat! Convenient and at small fraction of the cost outside. Massive Win! How you like those apples, #1?
Ronin: Sweet, bro! I am excited. That awesome machine will also feed my tech addiction too – triple win, dude!
Sifu: Still on the subject of drinks – how’s your drinking habit when you go out?
Ronin: Man, I get it. I’ve been cutting back – no choice. Alcohol is SO expensive at clubs and restaurants these days.
Sifu: Good, keep at it. Avoid it if all possible, and perhaps have that 1 drink at home – much cheaper for that same drink. I personally have mostly given up on alcohol, especially after reading the latest scientific research on it. Are you aware that NO amount of alcohol is healthy for you. None. Zip. It used to be: “A glass or 2 of red wine is good for you”. The news is out: it’s all wrong. Alcohol is poison to your body – can’t get around that anymore. So, I’ll only very occasionally have one in social settings –that’s it. Being drunk isn’t that awesome anyways, never mind the hangovers. Not worth the price of admission, bro. You get me?
Ronin: Yeah, I read that too. Extra bonus for cutting back, is that I won’t be putting those empty calories into this temple. You know it took a lot of work to get that 6 pack. Sabotaging by excess drinking and eating poorly is no longer part of my agenda, Sifu.
Sifu: Excellent, well done son. Next is buying second-hand items. Used is way cheaper than new. No shame in hitting thrift shops and Facebook Marketplace for deals. Many times, the used stuff is higher quality than the new stuff. It’s true, they don’t make ‘em like they used to.
Ronin: 100% – this one I got. It’s actually very cool to find deals this way. Hunting for vintage clothing deals is a hobby for some of us. It’s also great for the environment to not constantly buy new crap. Every deal scored is also a great story to share with buds.
Sifu: Don’t forget to save cash by doing DIY whenever it makes sense. Do your own minor home repairs, start working on your car, even cutting your own hair are options. Again, YouTube is your friend. And now ChatGPT as well. Endless help is as close as your fingertips. But please, don’t be your own dentist or surgeon. Sometimes, you go too far with my good ideas, #1!
Ronin: I’m actually pretty handy and I love me some YouTubing, so I’m 100% in!
Sifu: Fair warning, don’t you dare DIY my next birthday present using stale old macaroni and Elmer’s Glue, like last time.
Ronin: Ok, OK. So touchy man. That last one was a mistake – I was just trying to save cash, like you taught me, Sifu!
Sifu: Well it’s the thought that counts, I guess. SMH. Next, entertainment doesn’t have to be expensive. Look for free or cheap-ass things to do. At the very least, there’s parks, local events, biking, reading books from the library, and so on.
Ronin: Boss, are you saying that going to the movies or all-day mall shopping aren’t the only option for fun activities?
Sifu: No way, Jose! You can host game nights or movie marathons at home. You can inject your personality; it’s cheap, and actually way more fun and memorable.
Ronin: Done and done! Sounds like ton ‘o fun! A poet and you know it 😉
Sifu: If you say so, Tupac. Lastly, let’s review impulse purchases – DON’T DO IT! Remember mindful spending always. Use that cooling period we spoke of – sleep on it and decide the next day for any non-essential buys. Master this and you’ll on your way to a financial black belt.
Ronin: Always looking to add to the belt collection, Sifu!
Sifu: Remember, this not about deprivation. It’s about balance. Know when to spend and when to save. Master that and you’re as good as gold.
Ronin: Like that watch you promised me on our journey? Rapper MC Ronin is still coming for you, gold Rolex!
1. Create a Budget and Stick to It
A budget is essential for effective money management. It helps you track where your money is going and identify areas where you can cut back. List all your sources of income and expenses, then categorize them into essentials and non-essentials. This way, you can prioritize your spending and avoid unnecessary expenses.
2. Cook at Home
Dining out frequently can be costly. Cooking at home is not only cheaper but also healthier. Plan your meals for the week, make a shopping list, and stick to it. Meal prepping can save you time and reduce the temptation to eat out. You can also experiment with new recipes and enjoy quality meals without breaking the bank.
3. Shop Smart for Groceries
Grocery shopping can be a major expense, but you can save money by shopping smart. Use a shopping list to avoid impulse purchases, take advantage of sales and discounts, and consider buying generic or store-brand products. Buying in bulk for non-perishable items can also reduce costs in the long run.
4. Cut Back on Subscriptions
Subscription services, whether for streaming, magazines, or memberships, can add up. Review your subscriptions and cancel those you don’t use or need. Consider sharing services with family or friends to split the cost. This can help you save a substantial amount of money each month.
5. Reduce Energy Consumption
Lowering your energy usage can significantly cut your utility bills. Simple steps like turning off lights when not in use, unplugging electronics, and using energy-efficient appliances can make a big difference. You can also adjust your thermostat to save on heating and cooling costs.
6. Use Public Transportation or Carpool
Transportation costs can be high, especially with rising fuel prices. Using public transportation or carpooling can save money on gas and reduce vehicle wear and tear. For short distances, consider biking or walking, which are cost-effective and healthy alternatives.
7. Cut Down on Coffee and Drinks Out
Buying coffee or drinks out can quickly add up. Making coffee at home and carrying a reusable water bottle can save you a significant amount of money. If you enjoy socializing over coffee, invite friends over instead of meeting at a café.
8. Shop Second-Hand
Buying second-hand items is an excellent way to save money. Thrift stores, consignment shops, and online marketplaces offer quality clothing, furniture, and household items at a fraction of the cost of new ones. Shopping second-hand is also an environmentally friendly choice.
9. DIY Whenever Possible
Doing things yourself, from home repairs to personal care, can save you a lot of money. There are many tutorials and guides available online for DIY projects. Whether it’s fixing a leak or making your own cleaning products, taking on these tasks yourself can be both rewarding and cost-effective.
10. Limit Entertainment Expenses
Entertainment doesn’t have to be expensive. Look for free or low-cost activities, such as visiting parks, attending local events, or borrowing books and movies from the library. You can also host game nights or movie marathons at home with friends, which can be just as fun as going out.
11. Avoid Impulse Purchases
Impulse purchases can quickly derail your budget. Implement a “cooling-off” period before buying non-essential items. Wait 24 hours and consider whether you really need or want the item. This pause can help you avoid unnecessary spending and keep your budget in check.